


it isn't me.

by xueyangkin



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Goodbyes, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, changmin and yunho aren't actually together, inspired by please don't by k will, lowercase intentional, they're in japan in the au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29136846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xueyangkin/pseuds/xueyangkin
Summary: yunho was happy. his two best friends were getting married.at least, he thought he was happy.
Relationships: Jung Yunho (DBSK)/Son Ho Jun, Jung Yunho/Shim Changmin, Shim Changmin/Other(s)
Kudos: 7





	it isn't me.

he should have noticed it sooner. yunho should have noticed when his two best friends were growing closer. how could he have been so stupid?

when he saw her get enveloped by his embrace, he thought it was just a thing between friends. but why couldn't yunho get any words out? he opened his mouth to say something before scratching the back of his head, walking back up to his room. he'll tell them later.

it should have been when he noticed they were out together more often. but their twelfth anniversary of being friends was coming up. maybe they were just planning a party? I mean, twelve years of friendship is a long time, right?

apparently, yunho was wrong. when the fateful day after christmas rolled around, it was just any other day to them. to say he was hurt was an understatement, why were his two best friends so enamored with the other all of a sudden?

___

_ "why are you so angry, hyung?" he asked, his voice a little too loud to simply be asking him. _

_ yunho laughed, shaking his head. he couldn't believe the younger male. he looked past him, at her. he knew his face read of pain, of betrayal. the eldest of the three slowly rose his gaze up back to him. _

_ "it clearly wasn't that important if you forgot," he whispered, grabbing his jacket before running out of their shared house. _

___

they still went out and did things with each other, he still got his breath taken away by the younger in private. just recently they went ice skating. that was another huge sign! how did he not notice the longing glances, his hands around her waist, the red lips after the two had come back from getting hot chocolate, empty handed? yunho was stupid. so stupid to just excuse it as maybe the line was long, desperately trying to ignore the fact there weren't many people there, and it was cold! so maybe that's why their lips were red. but it didn't explain why they were slightly swollen.

it was now february 10th, four days after yunho's birthday. this was finally a day where his two best friends didn't seem so... clouded with each other. he got a big party, all of their mutual friends there. he had hope. he had hope that maybe what he thought was happening wasn't true. maybe they were just planning his birthday to make it better than the others. he is turning thirty five after all.

that's what he thought when the younger sneaked into his room to give him a separate present. that's what he thought when he chanted "I love you" over and over again as he let the younger one take him again, silence as his answer.

that's still what he thought when he woke up to an empty bed.

___

_ hojun sighed, rubbing yunho's back. he knew this was coming when he was at yunho's birthday. it was obvious to everyone except for the man of the night. _

_ kyuhyun was the first to point it out, he was closest to the second youngest of them all. the youngest, minho, agreed. they looked at each other with worry in their eyes. they all knew how much yunho liked him. they knew about the kisses they thought were quick and secretive, what they ran off to do when the taller was agitated. the marks that weren't previously on yunho's neck only drives their theory. _

_ hojun just couldn't believe it. he couldn't believe yunho didn't recognize it sooner. was he that in live with the younger that he just disregarded any signs that screamed "stop while you can"? _

_ apparently so as yunho shrugged his hand off of his shoulder and stormed out of the bar, ignoring hojun's pleas. _

___

here he sat, staring at their hands. they had rings. matching rings. wedding rings. yunho breathed shakily, looking up at her. she knew.

"we're getting married!" he announced, yunho's gaze flickered to him before back down at their rings.

she knew. she knew. she knew. _she knew._

"what's wrong, oppa?" she asked, there was only worry evident in her voice. why did he feel like he was being mocked?

she knew. _she knew he liked him._

yunho smiled, looking up at the couple with a shake of his head. "nothing at all, I'm just surprised I didn't realize sooner!" he laughed slightly, his gaze dropping again.

it was just a couple hours after that he went to the bar with hojun.

___

yunho was doing what he usually did when he was stressed or upset. he drove. 

neither of them questioned it when yunho didn't come home. they probably didn't notice anyway.

he drove to the hotel he was staying that was closer to the venue. yunho needed to get ready. 

the day of the wedding came and yunho was greeting the guests, conversing some before he walked further into the venue, it all got too overwhelming. he couldn't believe it was actually happening. 

"oppa!" a voice called, tearing yunho from his thoughts. 

he looked towards her with a forced smile. looking her up and down, eyes going over every detail on her dress. she looked beautiful, she really did.

but that should have been him. dresses weren't his thing but he should have been in her place. it should be him getting married to his first love. 

after all, he was there to comfort the younger whenever he was having problems. he was there to protect him from the bullies throughout their school years, despite being two years older. he was the one who stayed up to help him study for exams, even though he had work the next day.

it was them who had twenty five years of friendship. what did he see in her that yunho didn't have?

yunho looked down the corridor before shooing her back upstairs so her wonderful dress would be a surprise to him.

the thoughts still clouded his head as he walked her down the aisle, to the only person he had ever loved.

_ it should be me. _

they stayed as he handed her to him, watching as a kiss was placed to her hand.

_ it should be me. _

he couldn't pay attention as the ceremony went on. he felt hojun's hand on his shoulder, a small smile coming to his face. to the guests, it simply looked like he was just oh so happy for his two friends. but hojun knew better.

_ it should be him. _

a quiet, ugly sob came from him as he looked away when they kissed.

_ it wasn't him. _

yunho sighed as he leaned against the balcony the venue had. it stretched across one side of the building, just enough for most of their close friends to hang out, the rest of the guests long gone. so were his tears.

yunho looked down when he felt a warmth that was too familiar appear next to him. 

"hyung..." he whispered, hesitatingly setting his hand on yunho's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

yunho shook his head, more so throwing his hand off his shoulder rather than shrugging it off like he had done with hojun. 

"what should you be sorry about? I mean, I should've known there was nothing between us, that I was just someone to keep your bed warm," yunho said, raising his head to look at the view.

"that isn't true!" he could hear the hurt in his voice. but why was he hurt? it was the truth.

yunho turned towards him, stray tears streaming down his cheeks. "of course it is, changmin. you didn't love me. all I brought you was pleasure and that was enough, I hope you don't have to tell her not to mark you."

he sighed, turning around so his back was against the railing, his eyes trailing down to the obvious mark peeking out of the younger's tux. changmin followed his gaze before fixing his shirt.

"don't be like this, hyung."

"be like what changmin? you were the one that gave me false hope! you knew I loved you so why?" yunho's voice was starting to waver, the tears becoming fatter and heavier. "why would you do this?"

changmin reached to wipe his tears, smiling a little. "because I love you."

her voice came from the doorway. "my favorite boys! can we get a picture together?"

yunho nodded, requesting a moment. he waited until she was gone to set his hand on changmin's, lowering it.

"you don't love me. you love her, that's why we're here, right?" he whispered, wiping his tears before walking down to the main room for the picture.

they were walking down the stairs when yunho spoke again, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I took the job."

changmin stopped in his tracks, and just like he always did, yunho did the same.

"you what? you said you were going to deny the offer," he said, lowering his voice so no one would hear them.

yunho nodded. "I did, but my deadline to reply was in a couple of days. I waited to see if I really wanted to deny it."

changmin shook his head, grabbing yunho's wrist when the elder began walking again. "you said you wouldn't go."

yunho laughed, turning to look at changmin. "if you really loved me, you'd let me have at least one good thing to happen to me. now let's go, she's waiting."

___

yunho looked down at the ripped picture in his hands, he and her on one ripped piece, and his love on the other. 

he slowly tucked her under changmin's picture, so it was just the two alone. he smiled, stroking the picture with his thumb. he looked up when he saw a pair of shoes in front of him.

"come on, the plane is about to leave."

yunho slowly nodded, tucking the picture into his suitcase before taking the other male's hand.

"thank you for leaving just to come with me,

  
  
  


hojun."

**Author's Note:**

> hello! 
> 
> I'm sorry if this is poorly written. I wrote it within a few hours so I don't expect it to be amazing. this is also my first finished au, the last one i wrote was kind of more... bad? than this one.
> 
> i don't have it up anymore but i think this is better than that! please leave your thoughts <3
> 
> for further elaboration on the ending:
> 
> yunho got a job offer as a dance instructor -- and a backup dancer -- in korea. since they're in japan, changmin does not one to be a sea away from him. but after yunho heard the news, he emailed the company, sm ent, back accepting the job offer since he thought it would be easier to get over changmin.
> 
> hojun comes with him and i hope i hinted well enough that something is going to bloom in between those two. if i didn't, well you know now lmao.
> 
> i might make a sequel to this but i want to see how this goes and if people will actually be interested in one.
> 
> also! multiple other people have done something like this for tvxq! this was highly inspired by their work and please don't by k will. if you haven't watched the mv, i suggest doing so! i really love it.


End file.
